Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What I am looking for and FYI

So I have been getting crazy emails lately!! Some are so supportive and kind and others are not soo nice. I am grateful for all the support and even for some of the negative comments cause it helps me to check myself and make sure my motives stay pure... For the purpose of this experiment, my boyfriend and I are not together. We both understand the risks we are taking and we are both mutually willing to take them. We want what is best for ourselves and for the other person. So I am not a cheater or mean woman with no heart and he is by no means a push over or a desperate guy willing to let me stomp all over his heart. We both stand to lose each other in this process.

I have always envisioned myself marrying a Jewish man. When we met I told him that we can never get serious because of this fact. But since I do not control the Universe (this is recent news to me too!) we fell for each other and each day together made it harder and harder to find reasons to separate. But now is crunch time, he wants me to move to Europe to be with him and to start a life. Besides the fact that its a terrifying thing to do for me, I didn't know how to decide if it was right or wrong. I have put faith in this process because I have little faith in my ability to make a decision that could impact the rest of life and my children's lives and yes, even my parents.... Judge if you want but this has been a very painful decision making process and we feel that its the only way.

I think I know what I want and what may be best for me in the long run... Some things are a bit shallow but I believe that I am a great girl and I deserve to be with a great guy. So that means that I do not feel the need to settle for a fat and bald guy just because he is Jewish. I believe that I may be able to find the whole package that I am searching for (my Beshert) and if I am wrong and the Universe allows for it then my bf and I will be able to be together.
So here I am.... 5 dates into my 50 (number 6 tonight) ... feeling nervous and excited.


  1. Good for you. Don't let any negative comments bring you down.
    I'm also doing the JDate thing. Not too successfully at the moment, but I have hope. Going on a JDate tonight, too.
    Good luck to us both...
    Loving your blog...

  2. did someone already buy the movie rights to this? cause if not.... dibs.

    follow your heart, not your faith? if faith is in your heart then i don't know what.

    just good luck.
    aloha, cw

  3. This is like reading my own dating experience several years ago. I had been dating a Brit for close to two years, and had planned on moving to England to be with him. As it turns out, *he* broke up with *me* over the whole Jewish thing, even though I never pressed him to convert, and was willing to have a Christmas Tree in the house (a HUGE deal for me!). As it turns out, breaking up was the best thing he ever did for me. I had only ever dated one Jewish man, and the very next one I dated turned out to be Mr. Right. We've been married over a year now, but together for close to four, and he's easily the best thing to have ever happened to me.

    I'll be reading your posts. Good luck, girl!! Don't settle!