Monday, May 3, 2010

Update 24

I talked about the nice guy (date 36) with my therapist... I really wanted to like him. It bothered me and worried me that it was niceness that turned me off... I say that I want a good guy to get married and be a father to my children but then when I find someone like that I am so turned off...
I need to figure out a balance between being a 17 year old girl that wants the "bad boy" and a 27 year old girl that wants a husband.

Meanwhile, things with the cop are still going well. We get along fabulously. We don't fight. We laugh constantly. He is really good to me. He presented himself like a jerk at first but he is not like that at all... He is really a gentleman. He babysat my dog for me last week while I was at work. He takes me out all the time and refuses to let me pay (although I always try). He is talking about getting out of policing and getting a job that pays more and doesn't have such crazy hours. He won't let me drive, he opens my car door every single time even after a month of dating. He said that if he finds a new job soon then we can go to Mexico or Dominican for a week together. I think by keeping it casual I am able to be myself. I have no expectations of him or of a relationship so there is no way for me to get disappointed. I have put no pressure on him or on myself to be anything or do anything and its just lots of fun. I think he really wants to try to make money and I see that he is motivated and driven. I have not mentioned anything about money to him but I think he just sensed that I am driven and motivated and successful and that I would probably want the same in a man. So he is making all of these life changes with out me saying anything or getting involved or trying to control the situation (which I have been known to do!) It feels like whatever happens will happen... I have no expectations and its refreshing anf fun!

I am still free to date although I haven't been doing much of that since I met him...
Also, I was accepted onto a young professional trip to Israel for the summer! I am so excited as I have been wanting to go ever since my ex left in October. The rabbi has been trying to get me to go and I have been feeling like I need to be there to get some clarity at the wall. The trip is 2 weeks long and then I will be extending my stay for 2 more weeks to see family and friends! My best friend will even be in Israel at the same time so its going to be an unbelievable trip and I can't wait!!!!
I have started to put the focus back on me. I have been working on my websites and marketing for both my companies so that they will grow and I will be busier with work and have less time to worry about nonsense. Having the cop in my life right now really eases the anxiety of my "husband hunt" and allows me to focus on more important things! Plus I feel refreshed and in a great mood most of the time!


  1. That's really great! Glad to hear things are looking up!

  2. You are a lovely girl. I really admire your ability to date all these people. I could never date on a site. Too me, it's really scary.
    One question: Why do you need a therapist? You are a normal girl with issues that are completely understandable for your age and background. Why do we California Jewish folks run to therapists when we are even mildly upset? It seems very decadent, and makes life a lot harder and more complicated than it is. My father is a psychiatrist and so are all his friends. I found most of them to be quacks (all except for my father who treats war veterans who have real issues). In my opinion you are a great person and have a fantastic future. But if you run to a psychiatrist all the time, it will weaken you and drain you financially for nothing.

  3. Wrong. actually, more of us than currently go to therapists should be. it's the same reason we go to a doctor, or a chiropractor, but for mental health. each of us, even if we're somewhat well-adjusted (which doesn't describe that much of the population) could probably use a good short-term effective therapy swing, if only to make us more effective people.