Sunday, May 9, 2010

My Thirty Seventh Date

I don't know where to begin... I don't know if I have the vocabulary to properly describe this in words...
His pictures were decent... Our chat and then phone convo were decent too... He seemed witty and charming... He comes from a Hungarian background and my grandparents are Hungarian... we had a bunch of things in common. We set a date for one day last week. I was running late so I called him and asked if we could meet half hour later. He said sure. Then he called me back and said that he would rather reschedule. I said okay, let's play it by ear because I work most evenings and I am not sure how tired I will be after work. He said that really didn't work for him. He needed to pick a day so that he could put it into his calendar. Talk about being rigid... I was hesitant but I agreed to meet three days later on Thursday after work at 9:30. I called him after work and said that I was about to leave work and to find out where he wanted to meet. He said he was just on his way home from the gym and still needed to shower and shave for our date. He asked if we could meet at 10:30. At this point I was seriously annoyed but my co-worker wanted to meet with me anyways so it worked out. I got to the bubble tea place first. He was even later then 10:30.... I got a table and then he showed up. He did not apologize for being late. He did not look like his pictures. He was awkward and weird and had the most annoying voice and laugh. He was so strange. He stared at the menu for like 10 minutes and asked a bunch of questions about all the items. It seemed like it was his first time out of his house and he was discovering the world for the very first time. He was like "wow, how do they make all
these delicious sounding flavors?" or "Can I really mix two flavors?" BTW, he told me that he goes for bubble tea all the time.... Also, after assessing the menu and asking all his weird questions he ordered a plain earl grey tea. Are you kidding me?? It is the most plain, uninteresting thing to possible order on the entire menu, its not even bubble tea! I ordered my bubble tea and we got a toast with condensed milk to share (one of my favorite snacks at bubble tea). Its a very thick piece of toast with sweet condensed milk on top. When it came I cut it in half and put my half on a separate plate cause I did not want his gross hands anywhere near my toast! I took the crust part off my toast but I still nibbled parts of it that had some sweet stuff left on it and then I put the bitten crust on the side of my plate. I know that sounds a bit gross but the part that is even grosser is that he saw me do that, reached over the table to my plate, picked up the crust, said that he does not like to see food go to waste, and without asking my permission.... ATE MY CRUST!!!!!! Barf times a million!!!!! I was honestly so disgusted at this point I didn't know what to do or say. He kept talking and talking. He was definitely socially challenged (I think that is the politically correct way of saying it, lol). He told me that he is the manager of a huge company and there are hundreds of people that work under him and that he is so super important that the company couldn't possibly run without him. I asked him if he had his MBA to be able to do such an important and difficult job and he said that he only did a business degree in community college but that he was so smart and perfect for the job that they just had to hire him. He did a bit of name dropping, except that I had never heard of anyone he was talking about! He had a weird socially impaired grandiosity disorder. He truly believed that he was this amazing, important, great looking, successful guy. He actually said that out loud. He said that he was a great catch and lots of women want to marry him but he is waiting for someone that is equally as amazing as himself to marry. So when you find yourself asking the question "Why is he 36 and single?" This is your answer!
The date lasted about half an hour. I barely said anything. He kept asking if I was tired. I finally said yes, I am pretty tired since the date started an hour later then it was supposed to. He never for one second assumed it could have anything to do with the fact that he was boring me to death. I admire his ignorance! He said that since I was tired, I should get some rest and we can try this again when I was ready to be more fun. OMG! Thanks dad for telling me when we can "do this again"! How about never!!!! We walked outside and he said "well that was a fantastic first date, do you think we will ever get married?" I burst out laughing and said no! I realized later that he did not say this as a joke... fml! The next day I got a text saying he had a great time, told his parents about me and imagine the small world... his dad was the videographer for my batmitzvah video 15 years ago!!! He took it as a sign I took it as a "kill me now!" I didn't even bother writing back....

4 comments:

  1. Seriously, OMG. **Dies laughing**

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  2. Seriously, could you sound anymore stuck up your own ass? Jesus.

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  3. Bad dates make for great stories later!!

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