Friday, November 12, 2010

Update 39

Things with my bf continue to be great! This past week was tons of fun. We introduced our mothers and the four of us spent the day together downtown. We went for lunch and saw a play and the moms really hit it off! I had lunch with his sister and her beautiful baby. A woman at the restaurant asked me if the baby was my niece and I said yes :) hopefully one day she really will be!
Friday night I brought him over to the rabbis house for Shabbat dinner. This was very interesting to say the least. He is Jewish but has issues with the hypocrisy of orthodox Judaism. I made him promise to behave and to keep his thoughts to himself and to just enjoy the meal. He promised he would and dinner was going great.... Until the rabbi leaned over and asked him "so what intrigues you about Judaism?" I jumped in and in what felt like slow motion yelled noooooooooooooooooooo! That was it! The can of worms was opened! And there was nothing I could do about it! He started a huge debate about religion and the laws and rules and the hypocrisy etc. Everyone joined in, the rabbi, his kids and the other guests. I had to go to the other room because I did not want to get involved and try to manage what he was saying like I normally do in past relationships. I let him just say whatever he wanted and knew it was not a reflection of who I was or what I believe. I let him be his own person and own his own thoughts feelings and beliefs. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal but for me it was HUGE! Turns out that it was the best shabbat dinner everyone has had in a very long time. The kids loved the debate, the rabbi thought my bf was brilliant and his arguments were fantastic. He was so impressed with how knowledgeable he was about all the rules and laws to even be able to argue them as well as he did. And my bf had a fantastic time getting to argue things that he has been dying to say to a rabbi! So it was a hit! It also meant a lot to me that the rabbi liked my bf and that my bf liked the rabbi!

Saturday we babysat his niece. We took her to the mall then to a toy store. He bought her such cute toys that I picked out ;) It was so much fun playing house together. He loves her so much and I can see that he will be an amazing father one day.

A few people have written some concerns about me talking to my ex. This week we maybe messaged back and forth for a short few minutes and nothing important was really said. I honestly don't think of him. If he messages me I answer but I really couldn't care less if I speak to him. I was asked yesterday by a friend what would happen if me and my bf break up, would I go back with my ex? My honest answer was no. I know that I am able to find happiness with another man and I know that it feels so wonderful to love without a heavy and unsure heart. I know how I feel about Judaism and about my family and I would not compromise that, especially not after all that I have been through this year.
In fact, I am trying to start a group for Jewish women to raise awareness of the importance of having a Jewish home and keeping secular Judaism alive. It is obviously a topic close to my heart.

So to sum up... I am super happy in my relationship. I love his family and they love me. He loves my family and they love him and even our moms like each other! He likes the rabbi and the rabbi likes him! Oh, and I love him and he loves me, lol!

Its his birthday next week.. any ideas of what I should do? I want it to be very special! I already got him an iPad but I want to do something nice the day of.... :)


  1. very happy for the both of you. it sounds like you are very in love and it's nice to read that after all you have been through you are truly finding deep love.

    one part of the blog stood out to me specifically...when you wrote that you want to keep secular judaism alive. why did you write secular judaism as apposed to just judaism??? secular judaism is implying without the spiritual and religious aspects of what being jewish is all about and here you are trying to actually take a stand for keeping judasim alive by not intermarrying. if you were to intermarry than potentially you would loose all the customs and values that your parents brought you up with and that you probably enjoy with the rabbi and also independently as a young jewish girl.

    my vote is for keeping judaism alive. with all the glory, spirit, and heritage. focus on relaying that message. secular judaism is not strong enough to survive. real Judaism is the only way to go.

  2. i was kind of hoping for a response from you, but i guess not...

  3. Hey!

    I totally agree with you... I didn't realize that you were looking for a response, sorry :)
    My fear however is that secular judaism is the thing that is really at risk in the next few generations. Orthodox judaism will survive as very few (if any) marry outside the faith. Secular Judaism (reform conservative etc) has a more relaxed view on this topic which is why I fear it will disappear in the next few generations if ppl keep finding it acceptable to intermarry... those were my thoughts when I wrote that. If you want to talk more just email me and we can google chat :)